What, you may ask? It seems I am trying many new things, but what I am fascinated with at this moment is trying to set up my WordPress blog. Normally I would be asleep at 2:00 a.m. but not today. I have been sick and the random awakenings in the wee morning hours give me plenty of time to play with WordPress. What I’ve been trying to do is add photos, set up a menu, design my theme, describe myself, and most importantly, figure out why I am doing all this.
Why do we blog? Why do we read blogs? What is so fascinating about other people’s thoughts? What do people want to read? I have many questions and find myself delving deeper into this new world of blogging to find answers.
It has been almost one year since your life here on earth ended and you went to your heavenly home. I have cried, I have laughed, I have mourned your death and I have been grateful for the 22 years we shared.
I miss you so much, yet you are always with me. I see your face in the clouds, I feel you by my side at the sea, I walk through the ball park and football stadium and your spirit surrounds me.
As much as I wish that I could be with you, I know it is not my time. God will call me home when his time is right. Until then, I will fight. I will fight to preserve and honor your memory. I will fight the darkness that overwhelms my soul. I will fight for my right to grieve when people say that I should just “get over it”. I will fight to learn how to live as the new me in a drastically changed life. I don’t mean that I am going to be arguing with the world and everyone in it. I mean that I will stand strong against forces that try to bring me to my knees.
You may not know it, but you were loved by so many people. So many call you their brother or best friend. Your smile lit up the world. Your presence in a room made life a party. Your laugh was contagious. Your loyalty to those you loved is remembered as one of your best qualities. You loved and lived life so fully, and enjoyed the moment. If anything, that is what I would like to learn from you.
I love you, Donald Gwarjanski.
Below is the link to the blog of a wonderful woman I am honored to call friend. Her sister was murdered by her soon-to-be ex husband. Kim writes with raw emotion so make sure you take tissues. At the end is a link to a do to list if you are planning to leave your Narcissist.
I have a tattoo on my foot. I'm sure it seems totally out of character for those who know me, for someone "my age" and conservative background. When I got it, it sure was a big surprise to people I knew at the time (including my husband!)!
It's not a tattoo that I got when I was young or one I got spur of the moment on a whim.
Part of this verse will be on Donald’s grave marker.
It has been a couple of months since I have posted, and I have been wondering why that is. The holidays hit at about the same time I stopped and that may or may not have had something to do with it...I am not sure. This holiday season was our first without Mike, and there was a feeling that we were missing something or in this case someone.
I found this on http://www.onewomansperspective02.wordpress.com. It is often so hard to know what to say or do when someone has lost a friend or family member, but even harder when that person has lost a child. This article may help others.
As a grieving mother, I’ve been fortunate to have many loving, caring people surround me with help and support. I know that God sends people and resources to me just when I need them. Today is the six month “anniversary” of my son’s death. I am in need of solace and time to cry without worrying about what anyone else thinks.